Saturday, April 26, 2008
Hey there! Finally updated my blog with granny stories again...Yes, the picture on the bottom is how i describe my weeks recently...
Recently stucked in Prima for attachment...Many routine works and as busy as ever. From morning till evening...My section (NIR) is the first lab test, after mine, I've to pass on the section to my collegues to do the other test... So, very busy lo... But, It was good to be busy. You never know that the next time u look at ur watch, its already time to knock off... :)
In the midst of SIP, i still have to do my project for one of the module, Food safety.. Its very tiring..Trying to find time to get things done...Its also a routine to doze off in Train on the way home, during break and back home...Every where I go, I just feel like my "computer monitor" shut down le...Yet i cant simply rest mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually....
I'm like this guy on the top...Super exhausted...
Struggling with doing project with my project mates...Always having difficulties that I'm left with all out of my control...Feeling frustrated with many injustice unspeakable infront of them, yet helpless and couldnt do anything. All I wished is that God will grant me justice and righteousness and rescue me from the evil ones. I only want to dwell in God's house. Away from the evil world. SO sick and tired of this ruined society. Can't wait for yr 3 to end. Where's my hope and miracles this time? Seems so far away...Far far away..Every project meeting, I dreaded... I know in my mind that God is right beside me, yet, circumstances seems to be greater than feeling God is nearme and helping me. Sorry God. I just simply felt lost in what to do.
I learned that, requesting is actually unneccessary. Why should we request something frm people where in the first place, we have no right and we should not assume that people will give what we request. I learned along the weeks too, that hurts actually takes longer time to be healed than anger. One can vent anger in that moment of frustration. Yet, hurt takes longer time to sew back the brokeness in the heart, ease the pain and to forget unhappiness memories...
I learned that forgiveness is not easy. Sometimes, forgiveness is not only forgetting what the other party does to hurt you, but grace and mercy is required. Now i really understand why God allows me to go through certain test. I suddenly come to realised in my heart that God is really so forgiving. Even I myself find it so hard to forgive irritaing and frustrating ppl, whats more us, a wretch and sinners? A holy God who can't stand a single sin could actually fogive our iniquities...praise God, bcoz, I noe, I dont deserve this grace, yet u gave. I'm speechless Lord. Its really hard to be Christ-liked. Really hard.
Sometimes, things happen and I really hope that by making sense out of everything would comfort my soul. Its in vain. I concluded. Instead, I felt more rejected and helpless. I condemned myself more and envied more. Its really ALL out of control. Familiar trials seems to be coming back again. Yet, I m a grown up christian, no longer a baby. But I don't seems to be handling thigs maturely. The older I get, the more I dreaded. I feel like remaining as a child, so carefree and shower with the love of their parents. They do not need to worry about each day, what to eat, what to do for project and work, not worrying about money issue, not worrying about who will hurt you and feel helpless. Everyday just rely upon their parents bcoz, in their mind, the only one they can rely on is their parents...And yes, indeed, God, you are the only one I can rely to.
Only God knows the problems we faced nw and those yet to come. Only he knows how we feel exactly. Only He can understands and love us like NO one does.Only He is the awesome, rightful judge. Even if the world rejects you, He does not. Even if I feel that I'm so different from the world, the world sees me as wierdo, but God sees me as unique and precious child of his. I know. That I said this out of assurance that God loves me. His love is firm and stable than this falling world. Nothing can shake away His love and Nothing can separate His love from me.
Beloved friends, if you are a sis or bro-in-christ, would appreciate alot for the thoughtful prayers for me...hee...First time request prayers like that...hahaaha...But I would really be grateful for that...Can't wait for more miracles to come...If you have a prayer request, drop by at my tag board k...Or call or sms me. I would love to serve and bless. Many thanks!!! (:
In His strength,
Naysa :)
Hey people :)
It has been such a long time ever since I update my blog during this holiday…I have so much things to share with you guys…however, it was kinda long & I’m lazy to type so much ar…so lets just summarise the key points ba… :)
Praise God for this few days holidays…though short yet enjoyable. I had lotsa rest and much picking up of guitar skills, worshipping God. Holy spirit is really the best teacher I ever have… He taught me new strumming methods, teaching me how to read scores for the pop and classical guitar… Hallelujah!! Without Jesus I wouldn’t be able to learn these skills… I’m soooooo looking forward to the next lesson He’ll be teaching me!! :)
Praise God for granting me an opportunity to attend Stream of praise session during the week of sanctification for Chinese services. It was such a tremendous experience. Not only did God taught me what is a true worship and the meaning of worship, how does worshipper worship and stuff, even the meaning of sacrifice of praise, I felt God’s presence strongly and was so ministered by the songs they sang esp. the last day. Really moved. Started to love Chinese worship sooooo much… Like a lot of songs especially one that speaks to me, the meaning is, “in the dessert, the Lord shall bring stream of water into it…” and another song, cant rmb the song title, even if olive tree and vine tree does not prosper and bear much fruits, it still praises God…” Ya, it spoke to me, even if my studies aren’t that good, couldn’t do a lot of tasks, things fail, circumstances doesn’t seems optimistic, disappointment and rejections frm ppl, still gif thks to God…Its hard…But Lord, I’m want to…Teach me how to Lord…hahaha…pie say…direct translation frm Chinese…this prove how lousy my Chinese is…opps…
I like this songs, 我要向高山擧目by SOP, and its actions…so kawaii !!! Feel like going back to my childhood time… (: God, I don’t wana grow up le…hahaha… here are the lyrics and video…
Sorry, dont know how to upload from youtube...heez...so pls click to check out... :)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Lzn76m-z6R0
Next, also praise God for granting me an opportunity to attend a “concert performance” by our brothers in FCBC, the Ebenezer band…The songs & lyrics were written by one of Ps Eugene’s son, Ben Seow.
I told myself on that day before I attend the concert, “well, I’m just attending a concert, so just enjoy the songs, the music & the performance they are gonna present to the audience…” However, as I reflect upon it, I was amazed by the work of the Lord. Yes, the music, the songs, the lighting, the lyrics, the singing, was good. But, the Lord’s Love is greater. That day, I brought back with me the assurance and refreshment of God’s love and faithfulness. I told myself, “How could anyone have so much descriptions, so much inspiration in writing songs to the Lord?” And immediately, I got a gentle answer from the Lord, It’s because of God’s love. That caused them to write and sing unto the Lord. Praise God. Their band also shared their testimony… I was very encouraged and praise our great great papa in Heaven for transforming many lives. I remembered recently God lead me to read back the journals I wrote few years ago, Me too, is transformed by God. The same God who transformed many lives could transform your life too!! (: Really thank Him, if God hasn’t pick up this broken ,life of mine, I guess I’m still lost I the dessert, I wouldn’t be who and where I am now… I was very encouraged by them too…That I always told God, “God, I want to shine for you one day!! I want to use the talents that you have blessed me with to honor you and glorify you!! Let your will be done through me Lord…” But, I always think that I’m too young to accomplish much. I always felt that I’m not so equipped to shine for God. However, after that day’s concert, I feel that with God, ALL things are possible. Because it is God who is working. Not me. I’m just a useful tool used by him to fulfill his work. Amen!! In the bible, It was said, do not let people look down on you because you are young… Amen.. Thk God for using Ebenezer to speak to me… Hallelujah!
Bless you a song that left a deep impression on me, the lyrics touched me… I was reminded of God's love for us that nothing we do could exchange for it... went to search for the lyrics and praise God, I found it finally. Sorry ben, borrowed your lyrics without your permission if it was a song wrote specially for another person…opps…Hope you guys are blessed by the wordings… (:
Nothing in Exchange
V1
Where do I begin, where do I even start?
Of everything that keeps us apart
And I ask for nothing, but ill ask just this one thing..
Do you feel the same?
Cos I love you, and theres nothing you can do about that
Nothing you can say, nothing will outweigh
Cos theres no price I would not pay.
And I ask for..
Chorus
Nothing in exchange
You may never have heard of me
I could just be a distant figure
And you can hurt me over and over...
But I will still love and care for you
And I will still wait for you
And I hope that youll love me back, and I hope that you love me back
V2
If only you could realise, if only you could see
My love is all that you need
And this song will not be enough, cos words just are not enough
To explain the depth of my love
My love is strong, stronger than youll ever know
Nothing you can do, nothing you can say, would be able to repay
And I give this love for..Nothing in exchange'
(chrous)
Anywhere you are, I would be there for you
And to the depths of the grave, I went there for you
Come and take my hand, and your search will come to an end
Trust me when I say, that I am the way
When I speak the truth, that I am the truth
And I have given you my life, cos I am the life
No matter what the cost, I would do it again
Cos when everything is lost, my love will remain
Nothing in exchange
You may not even know who I am
I might just be a distant figure
And you might break my heart over and over..
But unconditional love
Came down to die from heaven above
Just for the hope that youll love me back
Just for the hope that youll love me back
Yes, His great Love is nothing in exchange. He loved you to exchange his life for you. He exchanged the pain, the shame, and the rejections for your life. Would you turn your eyes to him? He may be a distant figure, but, if you choose to welcome him into your life, he is closer than you could discover. And yes, his unconditional love transformed lives. He longs for you to love him back…Will you response? (:
Naysa
