Monday, December 29, 2008
Hee hee...Ok, I'm distracted again... I know that I have to go do my stuff...Tonns of things to clear... BUT...my whole brain is so distracted with so many things...cant focus if I never complain to God.... :/
I just got the news that this coming friday is my chorale rehearsal at TC... Shucks!! Its such a sudden news... I'm still thinking that: well, chorale for next year service wont be that fast de la...
Ok, Its a kinda sudden decision made few wks ago in joining the chorale team. Worse is that I pulled Chavonne along with me to chorale (thought I felt God's promting), though signed up together but not in the same team.... Argh...at least Chavonne have Yvonne with her...
I started to feel fearful..About what will happen during rehearsal... I know nobody in my team...and adding on, my dancing skills sucks... Yes...it sucks... though I've "some forms of training in dancing" BUT, It is still sucks.... Argh... I'm very tempted to regret my decision... I thought of requesting to change to another group... Felt kinda sad that I cant join in the fun with my frenes... no fun.. no crap... argh... (my complaining again)
But, in the corner if my mind, I dare not ask for a change... And I felt that God ask me: "When I first prompt you to join chorale, are you doing it for your friends or for me?" Of course when God ask me that I can only shut up... But I will still dread loneliness...
I cant imagine myself dancing like awfully in the next service...Argh........ But God say that in order to do great things for Him, I've to first go through training and even doing the things I dont like... Argh... God!! Help me not to dread worship you on stage... Yes, with many big actions all the more make me feel wierd... but I believed its all for good... The usual saying, "God, I'm weak, But You are strong. Help me to overcome my limitations ba. And I know You can. You are greater than anything of this world. You are the overcomer! "
PERFECT LOVE CAST OUT ALL FEARS
Amen!!